Before you splurge on those Alexander McQueen union jack boots or the patriotic Chanel that is Agyness Deyn’s handbag du jour, cast your mind back to 1997, when a certain flame-haired Spice Girl performed in a union jack dress at the Brit Awards. A year later it sold at auction for £41,000 to the Hard Rock Hotel in Vegas. I’m glad it was them and not a sad individual with more cash than sense wanting to buy an ‘iconic piece of pop history’, as no doubt was the auctioneer’s description. The thing is, this was never a dress, it was a top, and I know this because Geri’s undergarment was as visible as her solipsism. Geri never made it as a solo artist, but the ‘dress’ lives on, probably framed behind glass in a low-lit hotel corridor. A dress with no provenance, no designer, no nothing other than the moment for which it represents becomes a symbol of Brit pop. Roland Barthes would be proud, but Geri should be prouder. 

When Geri was desperate to buy this back for the reunion, she was prepared to pay any price, but did no one tell her that souvenir shops in the West End sell these for under a fiver? She should save her pennies and fly the flag for mums, who would never let their daughters out of the house in a dress that short, symbol of Brit pop or not. Shorter the better, I say…

Image Credit: dailymirror.co.uk

Further Reading:

Kill Your Friends by John Niven. The inside track on Brit Pop. Scathing and very, very funny.

I should know. I’ve been looking for over a year. What I’m looking for is a cropped jacket that comes down to my midriff; soft leather that has aged well; a small size that hugs my shoulders and that I can just about do up, with zips and fastenings that have dulled over time. Something I can wear over an LBD without looking like I’m auditioning for Grease or waiting for the Fonz to pick me up.

I can categorically state that London has no such jacket, unless I settle for a giant Harley Davidson motif on the back, or some rodeo fringing on the arms, or worse. The vintage shops have a few Terminator-like biker jackets for men, and when they do get them for women they are those batwing, wide-shouldered 80s monstrosities as modelled by Samantha Fox in her heyday.

These jackets are now incredibly fashionable, but I don’t want the Topshop one that Alexa Chung has, or the Belstaff one she wore to Glasto – too butch. Zara did an okay take on one but it wasn’t the real deal. The Balenciaga may cost about the same as my last car but if I wear it every day for the next year it’s the equivalent of a daily meal at Pret. Unfortunately my husband doesn’t do CPW (cost-per-wear) just GFD (grounds-for-divorce).

What I really want is a broken-in biker jacket with character, is that too much to ask?  eBay is my only hope, I realise. I missed a couple of nice ones at the beginning of the year which went for hundreds at the last minute, which only serves to highlight the scarcity of the matter.

Then last month the search was over. I’d found it. Beautiful she was, just beeeoootiful. Patina perfectly aged. Small, for sure it would be small. I mean, I really should have inferred from the words “Punk Baby” in the title that it was going to be small, but the measurements seemed ok. I didn’t even wait till the end of the auction I Bought It Now I paid I told the US seller to hurry hurry HURRY for Paypal God’s sake get it to me quick..

When it arrived I ripped open the packet and out came this version of my ideal motorcycle jacket but in miniature. It really was punk baby. The cutest thing. And its dimensions were inversely proportional to how much I wanted it to fit me. I split a seam trying to squeeze it on even though, like an old ugly sister, I knew the Cinderella moment had long since passed. Seven, eight years old: no problem. Thirty: no chance. Only reality goes out of fashion….take it from me.

NB. It’s worth noting that at seven years old I would never have worn this jacket. I would have judged it to be what a Bros-ette would wear, and I hated Bros. If you’d have given this to me for Christmas I’d have cried.

No.

Nope.

No, no and NO

Yes.

Yes! It's Balenciaga for £1275

Yes if you're 5-7yrs old